Racine and I were chatting on msn... when suddenly we came onto the topic of affairs and in the end, I suddenly wanted to blog. Sooo,
Say maybe you have a boyfriend or girlfriend, if you don't already have one of those dangling on your arm, but your eye has wandered off and 'accidentally' landed on one of those 'other horizons' (that may or may not be more promising =P) and this other horizon is far away, unknown to your current horizon and shares no circles with your current horizon or you. Let's just say it was, in your opinion, a harmless infatuation that amounted to nothing. This doesn't mean nothing happened but rather it just states that the horizon didn't stretch (ahaha stretch... pun!) to anywhere in particular and you figured your old horizon looked and felt a whole bucketful of kfc fried chicken better.
Question: Should you tell Mr. or Ms. OtherHalf of the slight meandering?
Although he/she would not think it so slight.
On the one hand, your conscience is riddled with guilt. The guilt of hiding from, lying to, deceiving, cheating on, betraying, hoodwinking, bamboozling your partner. You are so guilt-ridden every single moment with him/her is torture. If you don't tell, it would be wrong because you're supposed to tell each other EVERYTHING, be it good or bad. So the guilty conscience coupled with the fact that a couple should share everything compels you to tell. You say you were wrong to do it and that it was nothing really and that you love him/her more than anything in the world... he/she will then question, 'Do you really?' and a whole series of quarrels ensues and the initial trust that was given so freely is shattered into tiny shards. But in the midst of the loud and harsh words thrown at you, there is a certain sense of satisfaction because you've told, you've apologized and you're suffering the consequences so you don't have to feel so guilty anymore.
On the other hand, you are guilty... and deathly so. So wrecked by guilt it is killing you. But you don't want to hurt your partner by letting him/her in on the secret of an affair that was an utter mistake. You don't want to break that trust with that sliver of knowledge he/she doesn't know yet and especially since the affair is no more. So you suffer in silence with the guilt of a thousand other halves who've strayed but came back. Of course there are those who experience no remorse but this is exclusive to those who do still feel guilt for their actions.
So which one then?
To tell and be purged of guilt with the loss of trust?
Or not to tell and suffer forever in silence so that one's partner's memory is not tainted with the stain of a useless affair?
1 comments:
no, no, no, never tell. your guilt is your punishment, let your other half continue on being oblivious, don't rip thier heart out. i say this from experience as my ex husband confessed to an affair 6 years after the events took place. i could have happily continued my life without ever knowing. he was selfish in having the affair, and selfish in torturing me in order to rid himself of his guilt.
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