Its been almost 5 years since I started med school yet it seems like it just happened yesterday. I remember looking forward to getting my new white coat, my first stethoscope or a tendon hammer, you know, the little things that make us look somewhat more like a doctor. Perhaps some of you folks are looking forward to getting your first pager, some go a little further, hoping to get your first dictaphone (is that how they spell it? I don't know) but now all I look forward to is a holiday. :p
Have I been too pessimistic about my profession?
Yet again I spent another evening eating out because I had no time to shop for groceries and just around the corner not very far from where I live lies a little store that sells cheap Japanese food takeaways. Due to my frequent patronage I have grew familiar with the store owner and his family and tonight, little 11 year old Litasha, the oldest daughter of the store owner (Martin), shall be my waitress. We've met countless times but never talked, she was always busy doing her "thing" such as playing around with her younger brother (Joshua) or skating around on a skateboard, never bothering about the chores around the shop. But tonight was different, since she had to help out mom, she had more opportunity to speak to me.
"How are you doing young lady?" I said.
"Good!" She replied with a smile.
Its amazing how different kids are if you bring them up in Western countries. I would assume an 11 year old Malaysian kid would be very shy and would rather avoid any encounters with an adult if possible but here in New Zealand, these kids will eat your heart out. But they're adorable.
"I heard you are studying in Otago."
"As a matter of fact, I am. Would you like to study there someday?"
"Yes."
"Well what are your interests?"
"I want to draw. I really love drawing."
"That's great! Would you like to be a doctor someday?" I said it jokingly of course, I mean... we gotta learn to sell our profession once in a while to make ourselves feel good.
"Uh... no."
"Why not?" I started to laugh.
"I... I don't know. I don't like to read, I just like to draw."
Ah... Isn't that the classic answer you'd expect from every kid? I'm not saying she wouldn't change her mind later in life, but I distinctly remember myself saying the same thing when I was at her age. I wonder what changed my mind... Or maybe I didn't. You know, its very much like how a frog would react to heat. If you threw a frog straight into a pot of boiling water, they'll jump out immediately. But if you place them in cold water, and slowly heat it up, they'll cook themselves to death because they can't tell the change in temperature.
I think maybe that was what happened to me... I never foresaw the amount of books I will have to go through in the future and neither did I care, because for all I know, there always so little to do. But then the days turned into weeks, and the weeks turned into months, and the months turned into years. And before I knew it, a book turned into two, then the book covers became further apart, then they (the books) starts to outweigh you, and then you have to do literature search, and then suddenly you are faced with exams that might potentially kill you, so on and so forth...
Just before I finished eating I talked a little with Connie, Martin's wife. I told her my birthday was coming up and she asked how am I going to celebrate it. I just giggled and told her,
"Well... I could try NOT studying as a celebration, hows that?"
"Aww you poor thing. Come over here and I'll cook you something for free!"
I know what you guys are thinking... I did NOT do that to get an invitation for a free meal! >_< Although, I wouldn't pass that up. :p But I guess that explains why we always get a "wow" response when we tell people we're studying medicine because the average person can tell just how much crap we have to take before we make it. Not to mention those who didn't make it. The fees are expensive, the time spent studying are ridiculous, the exams are tough, the working hours are long, and if we make a mistake we risk getting our asses sued. Long story short, it isn't an ideal job.
Sure there is some glamour that goes with the title but I think its overrated compared to the effort we have to put in. Sure you get the opportunity to make lots of money when you become a consultant but what of those who just wish to remain as senior house surgeons?
Have I been too pessimistic about my profession?
Nah... I think there's no such thing as being optimistic or pessimistic. Sometimes it seems to me that optimism is just a beautiful form of denial while pessimism is nothing but a plea for attention.
I'm just being down to earth I guess. Rather than taking a side, I prefer realism. That sheen which comes along with the coat and title, unfortunately, in my opinion, will never stand the test of time and will wear off eventually. What is left is probably an old and worn out man wishing he could've travel back in time and perhaps spent a little more time painting, singing, dancing, or do all sorts of other stuff.
I'm not saying this is a rule for every doctor! >_< There are some who are ambitious and passionate enough to make it to the top! Some even go on to become deans! But I don't think I care enough to make it that far... Remember that frog? I think you either need to have that passion for a hot steamy bath, or... or maybe you're just incredibly stupid. :p
I think being a doctor a great. But not for the rest of my life... Maybe I'll be a doctor for a couple years, then I'll go study history, art, poetry. I might even be a comedian! Or a street busker! We need to develop both lobes of our brains mind you. >_<
Thank you for reading. Hope you had fun.
Yours,
chow
