Global Kecohers

So my friends in Aus have this bet going, each of them has to pick another person whom they think would get married first. They’ve got a pool going whereby they each put in 50 aussie dollars and the winner sapus the load. I thought this was a great idea so I suggested to my Kuching friends that we do the same. As you would think we all started laughing while we put forward our suggestions.

Me: I think Oogabooga Lau* (names are kept confidential, yeah I don’t have a friend called oogabooga, big surprise.) would get married first. He’s got a steady girlfriend, his brother married at our age, he’s so bloody rich he can do as he pleases and…..he’s just that kinda guy, romantic and committed.

Others: Yeah, you’ve got a point there….

So we were discussing how it would take something like a marriage to bring us all together again (bunch of nostalgic sappy asses we are) when suddenly my friend goes..

Idioticus Chua*: Eh, fon I’m putting my money on you.

Everyone else: HAARR?!?!

Meanonimus Lee*: Wahlaueh siaw ar?! I bet my money that he’ll get married last! Where got chabo want him for a husband la?!

Me: =(

Idioticus Chua*: Aiya listen la…he’s the most likely one among us to get pissed drunk stumble into some LA chaple with his date and call us going “OI!!!!! I’m married wei!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOHOOO!!!!!!!!”

Everyone else: Oh ya hor! True true you got a point.

Me: =(

Me: Hoi!!!!!!!!! When I’m drunk I don’t cincai do stupid things la hor?

Whyucanrememberstupidthingslikethis Tan*: How about the time during Chinese new year when u got so drunk you stumbled to the main road, unzipped and pissed in front of all the cars passing by?

Me: ………………………….

Anyway for your information I can’t get drunk. Let me clarify things. During the infamous Singapore Zuok incident I was just acting lar! It was all an elaborate ploy to spend the night on Marilyn’s lap and to get Van to feed me oatmeal. The second time when I was seemingly drunk after EOS in poppy, I just thought it was an interesting way to pick up chicks. I mean what girl can resist a man with his head stuck in a flithy, vomit filled rubbish bin for an hour?! And see I was right! There was a girl who told you guys I was cute then came to me with a glass of lemonade remember? Aiya, I’m telling you it was all planned out……….